So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
