he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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