Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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