yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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