we made out on top of his cat.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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