I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
