he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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