I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
