smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
