We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i now understand why vodka
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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