Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Reggie can tackle my bush.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
