i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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