I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize