We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
