I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
