i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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