I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
