You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the liver wants what the liver wants
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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