Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
