i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
