My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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