it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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