that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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