she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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