I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize