Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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