How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We smell like vodka and hangover
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
