My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
