it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
one two three fourrrrnication!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
