tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
