pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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