Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Randomize
