dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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