And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
