I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize