Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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