he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS