Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have feelings that need drinking.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements