All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway