if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
this boner is exhausting
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.