All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize