guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dick very happy bro
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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