Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize