At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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