Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize