fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
