I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
