East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
