We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
