I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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