Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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