didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
