Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
