I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
