So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
